How to Spot and Survive a Fuck Boy
I stand here today (I am currently sitting its an expression) a strong, proud, independent woman. The physical trauma has long since vanished and I have finally mentally come to terms with the psychological ordeal that I endured. I am a survivor.
Fuck boys are all around us, they are your neighbors, your schoolmates, your distant cousin twice removed, but what makes them so terrifying is their remarkable ability to blend in and go undetected in society until alas its too late…R.I.P fallen brother/sister.
But fear not I have finally put my Bachelors Degree in Science to good use and have, after hours of research and social experiments composed some foolproof strategies for spotting and surviving Fuckboyism.
I don’t know, nor do I guarantee that after reading this blog you will be able to navigate yourself around the dating world, now being able to successfully avoid these Fuck Boys. This post cant insure every girls survival, but if it can save even one girl then its worth it, and for just £10.00 a month you can help girls who have been effected, you will get a cuddly toy and a newsletter letting you know how you’re donation has changed a life (for bank details see below). I’ve condensed my hours of research and studies so that it would be easy to follow for those of you who struggle to English good.
A Fuck Boy is by definition a womanizer; a young man who sleeps with women without any intention of having a relationship with them. They usually travel in packs of two’s or three’s and always look like they’re constantly on their way to or from the gym as they are regularly observed tactically tensing or grasping a Protein World shaker. However some have evolved and have opted for a more subtle, less conspicuous look, making them even more difficult to detect. When one thinks of Bear Grylls you automatically think bravery, courage, strength. So when a man of such valor describes Fuck Boys as the most dangerous predator he has ever encountered us girls cant help but quake in our UGG boots. Here are just a few telltale signs that you are interacting with a Fuck Boy.
He doesn’t call you by your name.
He only texts you at night.
He doesn’t want to be seen in public with you.
If he was a cartoon character his catch phrase would be “send nudes”.
“You have the most beautiful eyes” fuck boy.
His idea of a date is ‘Netflix & Chill’.
Excuse after excuse.
The “I don’t believe in labels” fuck boy. You have been involved with him for a few months now, no sign of the girlfriend title being handed out anytime soon, you finally – three Sambuca shots later – decide to phone him up (because there was no way he was out with you) and ask what you are, and are met with “I don’t believe in labels” mumbo jumbo, at this time I suggest you pull a Rose and let Jack go because that ship has sailed and sank (too soon for Titanic banter?).
Finally, a personal favorite “I’ve been hurt before..”